I think the current contender is “partner” (except in 12 countries and 11 states + counting where it is happily evolving into “husband” and “wife”).How about “companion?” I was once writing up an event and described an older unmarried couple, and the terms boyfriend and girlfriend seemed inappropriate. But the anniversary that means the most to us is May 10th; the one just past marks the 34th anniversary of our first date. It’s gender neutral, it’s informative (two…or more, possibly–who knows, who cares?– people living together in a loving, long-term, shared-life situation). Of course, we Germans have a sense of humour, so we came up with “Lebensabschnittsgefährte” (life episode partner), which imposes the opposite. I hear spousal equivalent sometmes but I’ve never cared for it.I know married couples, of opposite sex as well as differing, who use the word “partner” as it eliminates the possibility of preconceived gender roles that can come with “husband” and “wife.” Generally “partner” in a business sense will be qualified as “business partner,” or will be mentioned in a business setting.TO STEVIE CARROLL: AARP is the American Association of Retired People, and the only qualification is to be over 50 years old.Anything but `significant other`. Domestic Partner sounds a bit like a housekeeper. One could ask the two, “So, where’s the big event taking place?” They stumble and mumble. That was nearly three years ago and while I don’t expect it to be permanent, I like covivant better than the other choices, mainly because of the reasons you’ve given. Lebensgefährte (male) / Lebensgefährtin (female). I have used partner but it sounds as if we were in business together. I am twice divorced and then lived with a guy for about 7 years (in my 40s), and we did the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I remember in the 70s someone invented the term POSSLQ — pronounced posselcue — which stood for Person of the Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters. It’s a warm, caring and sexy-sounding word without being overly explicit, nor with too much information (that’s not anyone’s business anyway)… It’s also easy to say and, if necessary, explain.I am chiming in several years late on this thread but here goes. Girlfriend is passable, Boyfriend is NOT. “Boyfriend/girlfriend” is what they really mean, but they think that the French-derived word sounds more sophisticated, perhaps. My wife, who immigrated from a country where human life is sacred, was too horrified to speak for an hour. It definitely works for me!I never liked ‘partner’ or ‘significant other’ but I felt I needed something to describe the man with whom I’ve been in love for the past ten or so years. We were also simultaneously executives in the same marketing department for 2 years.” After weird looks and a long silence the nurse starts hinting around like “do you live together…do you want him to hear what I say?” I’m like, “You’ve got to be kidding me, what in the heck kind of term is ‘partner’ now?” Apparently in this new liberally correct world every time we talk about our business history we have to use qualifiers so people don’t confuse us with fornicators, adulterers, or sodomites. Having a “significant Other”, Partner, Friend, and the list goes on.I actually like the acronym as a word.
For those of you across the pond and unfamiliar with ARP, it is a very well known acronym for Air Raid Patrol. Meh. )The world really was a precisely better, less ambiguous place 20 years ago. And if you’re saying you’re his girlfriend, there had better not be another woman saying the same LOLWhy not just call the someone you are with your “friend”? For all of that time — both before and after I convinced her to make an honest man of me — I’ve introduced her simply as “my lady” or “my lady Ola,” and I’ve been correspondingly designated, then and now, as “her man.” Those terms, accompanied by a loving look, continue to serve admirably, in expressing every nuance of our relationship, without any of the drawbacks attributed to the various terms discussed above.As an over-30 guy … well, well over 30 … I find nothing wrong with boyfriend/girlfriend. Seriously peoples, the liberally correct obfuscators are far more offensive than just using the words that say what you mean. Find descriptive alternatives for romantic. It can also be used in the second person “please bring your other half to the party” without having to be certain of the person’s marital situation, or indeed sexual preference. If a particular answer is generating a lot of interest on the site today, it may be highlighted in orange.
Perhaps it is time to invent a new word.Your last paragraph sums it up well. It was somehow innately laughable, dunno why. In Canada, common-law relationships are recognized by law and the term spouse is used for the partners in most legal documents. the easiest (maybe it’s California). My 85 year old widowed grandfather refers to “ladyfriend”.As a fellow AARP member, I’ve come up against this for a long time…together 4 years, married 9, divorced-but-still-together 5 years and remarried now. [I was intrigued that you did not mention “significant other”. One o0ld friend of mine used to call his wife his domestic associate, which I always thought of a descriptive, yet non-offensive term.I have been impressed by your impeccable use of the English language and enjoy your daily doses of useful tips and explanations.I was therefore surprised when I read in the third paragraph of today’s DailyWritingTips the phrase, “…the juvenile connotations of these words is obsolete…” English is not my first language, so I may be missing something here, but surely ‘juvenile connotations’ ARE obsolete (not IS)?This is a puzzling question and although there doesn’t seem to be a good answer by the end of the article, I appreciate the back and forth banter you create to display all of the current labels and their shortcomings.